Have you been insta-stalking your crush for a while now and are looking for the perfect way to break the ice and start a conversation with them?
These days, it’s certainly possible to get a conversation going with someone over Instagram, even if you don’t know them that well in real life! Social media has made it easier to connect with people we wouldn’t normally come into contact with, and one of the results of this is Instagram relationships.
Plenty of people meet their match on social media platforms like Instagram, so you shouldn’t feel awkward for wanting to talk to that cutie that keeps popping up on your feed!
Starting a conversation with your crush can be daunting, but there’s no need to be afraid because this article will give you the best tips and tricks to start talking to your crush on Instagram, even if they don’t know you exist!
Before you start a full-on conversation with someone in their DMs, there are a couple of things you can do to get their attention. Doing these before you start a conversation will get them thinking about you a little before you’ve even really talked!
Respond to their story on Instagram
If you’re nervous about sliding into their DMs randomly, the best way to start a bit of a conversation is to respond to their stories. This can be as simple as sending a couple of emojis or a compliment; especially if their story is about something they’ve accomplished or is a really nice selfie!
Your crush will see your response and instantly think of you as responsive and kind, because you took the time out of your day to send them something nice in response to a story, instead of just chain-liking all of their photos.
Comment meaningfully on their Instagram photos
Instead of commenting fire emojis every time they post and hoping that they will notice you, try a longer and more meaningful comment! This can come in the form of a compliment or question about the post that makes them want to engage with you.
Personal comments always mean more than the quick emoji or like, and they are certainly going to be flattered and remember you for your kindness, even if you don’t know each other that well yet.
This especially works if you are friends off social media as well, it shows that you care about them and the friendship because you are taking the time to give them a compliment.
So, you’ve been liking, commenting, and responding, and you finally want to start a conversation with them, but you aren’t sure where to start. These tips will help you start a meaningful chat that will hopefully start something!
Start with a thoughtful DM On Instagram
The best way to start a conversation with your crush is to send them a meaningful DM, rather than just a “hey”, which puts the onus of the conversation on them. The best way to do this is to ask them how they’re doing, maybe ask them about one of their recent posts or stories.
Here are some great examples:
- “Hey! Saw you were sick the other day, hope you’re feeling better now!”
- “Love the restaurant from your story, have you tried their desserts??”
- “Hey, I just had to message you to tell you how adorable your dog is, that pic the other day was too much!”
What all of these examples have in common is they relate to the personal situation of the person you’re messaging. That is what is going to start a conversation that they have the opportunity to continue if they like you too!
If you know your crush outside of social media but don’t talk to them very often, this kind of DM is the best way to start talking to them. It’s personal enough where they notice that you care enough to comment about their life, but not too personal where it’s weird to start a conversation.
Things to avoid:
There are some don’ts when it comes to messaging your crush on Instagram, as well as some things that just aren’t going to work. Here is the Don’ts of Instagram flirting:
Stay away from pick-up lines
Instagram isn’t a classic dating app like Tinder or Bumble; people aren’t specifically on there to find a date. It’s certainly possible to meet someone you like and start a conversation with them on Instagram, but a pick-up line is not the way to do it. It’s way too forward and is most definitely not going to start a conversation.
Another downside of the pick-up line method is that it has the tendency to make you look creepy; there are much better ways to get your crush’s attention than a cheesy line!
Don’t be looking for a date from the start
If you’re messaging your crush on Instagram, you’re going to get a much better response from them if you just try to have a natural conversation and be yourself.
This means not trying to be too flirty or playful from the start. The conversation can certainly evolve naturally to be a flirty or sweet chat, but it’s going to get there on its own without you needing to force it.
It’s important to remember that you’re just trying to have a conversation with your crush; they probably don’t know how you feel, and until you tell them, you have to be careful not to be too presumptuous!
Don’t make things up or give fake compliments
Complimenting someone just because you think it will get your attention from them is never going to work in establishing a relationship with someone you like.
It’s important to give genuine compliments or comments that come from your very real feelings towards that person. They are going to be able to sense a fake compliment from a mile away, and it’s going to put them off.
Secondly, don’t make things up just to get their attention. This won’t help you in the long run and whatever relationship you build off of that isn’t going to be real. It sounds cheesy, but the best thing you can do is be yourself; and if they like you, that will be more than enough.
Now, you’ve messaged them, but you need to know how to keep the conversation going and even tell them how you feel. What should you do now?
You shouldn’t wait a while to respond to them to seem “cool”, in the long run, that doesn’t help you or them and is honestly a waste of both of your time.
A good rule is to respond every time you open the app if there is a message from them. This keeps the conversation flowing at a steady pace that moves naturally with your schedule and when you have time to respond.
Ask questions, give responses
The best way to keep a conversation going, especially if you are getting to know someone better, is to ask them questions based on what you have been texting about.
Maybe they’ve told you about their favorite restaurant, or where they work, or their favorite sports team. Ask them questions about the things that they do and like in order to keep the conversation going but be careful not to ask questions that can be answered in one sentence.
The goal is to have a meaningful conversation with them and hopefully get to know them better; so asking them shallow questions about themselves isn’t going to work. Find out their favorite movie and ask them why?
Find the things you have in common and let them rant about their opinions!
Also, remember to add interesting things about yourself to the conversation; it shouldn’t be just you asking them questions and them responding, they also need to get to know you better if they’re going to like you back!
Tell them you like talking to them
If the conversation has been going for a while, and you’ve been getting to know them for a period of time and it’s been fun, make sure to tell them that. Unfortunately, you’re not going to get anywhere without telling them how you feel and that you like them, because otherwise; how are they going to know for sure?
This can start small, you can tell them that you enjoy talking to them, or that you find them funny. When you’re ready, you should tell them that you like them, because if they’ve been talking to you for a while and the conversation has been going back and forth, chances are they like you too!
It’s understandable to feel nervous about talking to your crush; but doing so through Instagram can be an easier way to test the waters!
Make sure you follow them and engage with some of their posts before you message them, so it doesn’t seem like it’s coming out of the blue.
If you’re genuine with your compliments and messages, it is much more likely that they will respond, and you will get a great conversation going!
The last thing to remember is that sometimes you have to just go for it, even if you’re nervous because you never know what can happen!