You’ve probably heard the saying that 75% of all communication is portrayed through body language.
Think about it before someone even start talking, we already start assuming what they’re like, just from the way they carry themselves.
That’s why in this article you’re going to learn exactly how to portray a confident, attractive and respectable body language.
We’re going to go over everything from your feet to the expressions on your face and we’re going to make sure you have a full understanding of why certain types of body language are good and why certain types are bad.
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Starting with the feet you want to make sure that your feet are shoulder length apart with your toes pointing outward.
Why? Well, the rule of thumb when it comes to body language is, that closing off your body is associated with nervousness and fear. Hypothetically if someone was about to hit you, your instinct would be to close off your body to cover your organs and genitals.
Open body language, on the other hand, is associated with feeling relaxed, calm and confident. So having your feet apart toes pointing outwards is open while having them together pointing inwards is closed.
What about your hands then? Do not keep your hands in your pocket, do not cross them, do not have one hand holding the arm of the other hand and if you’re at a party do not hold a drink covering your chest.
All of these are forms of closed body language.
So what should you be doing with your hands and arms instead then?
It’s best to keep your hands at your side relaxed even if you have a drink.
If you’re speaking with someone you can use your hands to emphasize certain points.
If you were to ask me to adjust one part of the body that would have the biggest influence on how people perceive you, it would have to be the chest.
This is actually the area that people have problems with the most. A lot of us have what is called rounded shoulders.
Our shoulders arc forward past the neck largely due to our society which is increasingly dependent on computer and smartphone usage.
The ideal way to hold your chest is to have your chest outwards and your shoulders back like in this image:
For those of you who have a posture problem through the years of computer usage, there are a lot of exercises out there that will help straighten your back and fix your shoulders.
Moving on to the head you should stand straight with your head in line with the rest of your body.
Your head should be facing forward, you don’t want to tilt it down as it seems too submissive and you don’t want to tilt it up too much as it seems too arrogant. If you have to choose between tilting down or up, tilt it up.
The face is a large part of how people perceive you during interactions.
There are two things that you’ll want to focus on:
- The first is eye contact, chances are if you’re reading this article you’re not making enough eye contact.
Especially if you’re a male, strong eye contact is a huge indicator of confidence.
I’m sure you’ve met people who seem totally normal but just could not maintain eye contact.
This makes the interaction feel very uncomfortable and they come off as extremely unconfident.
The magic ratio you want to maintain is 70-30 you want to spend 70% of the time during the conversation making eye contact and 30% of the time letting your eyes wander.
This way you seem very confident, very interested in what the other person is saying but at the same time you don’t come off as creepy.
- The second thing you want to focus on is your smile.
But don`t have one of those giant teeth showing smiles plastered on your face 24/7, because well it actually seems nervous.
These smiles seem forced and fake. Instead, it’s best to have a subtle grin like you’re having a good day.
This projects an aura of happiness, but seems genuine and not forced.
Now don’t get me wrong it’s perfectly okay to smile with your teeth, but save it for those special occasions.
how you should move your body To Look Relaxed And Confident
The rule of thumb when it comes to movement is: slow, the slower you move the more confident you seem.
A lot of us are prone to fast fidgety movements, we like to touch our face or play with our hands and this just screams I’m nervous and it makes you look like you’re on the edge all of the time.
The reason we want to stray away from nervous behavior so much is that emotions get transferred if you’re nervous the people you’re interacting with will feel uncomfortable as well, they will feel as if something is wrong and this hinders your overall likability.
How slow should we move? You could move pretty slow without it looking weird, just don’t move too slow, like you’re in the matrix.
The last concept we’re going to talk about is space. This relates a lot to the open and close body language concept that I mentioned earlier.
The more space you take the more comfortable and confident you seem.
When you add a desk spread, don’t be afraid to have some space between your phone and your notebook but don’t be that guy who takes up three seats with his book, bag, and jacket.
When you’re sitting don’t be afraid to sit with your legs apart (if you are a male) drape your arms on the chair next to you.
If it’s empty do not be afraid to open up your body and that’s it if you want to be perceived as more confident, look more attractive, and gain more respect.
To look confident and relaxed you just have to keep in mind these concepts:
- stay away from closed body language
- move slower
- take up more space
- increase the amount of eye contact you make
By making these changes I can guarantee you’ll see an improvement in your social interactions whether it be on things during meetings at parties or even just hanging out with your friends.