One of the scariest things about dating is trying to figure out if someone feels the same level of connection you do at the beginning of a relationship.
It is impossible to know what someone else is feeling at all times, and sometimes people can get discouraged because they aren’t sure about someone else’s interest level. Fortunately, there are things you can do and say that will make it easier to determine if the person you’re interested in feels the same way about you.
There are also important questions you should ask yourself when you’re questioning a new relationship or romantic interest that will help you gauge where you stand.
DO THEY MAKE A POINT OF TALKING TO YOU?
When someone feels like they have a romantic connection, they will go out of their way to talk to that person or spend more time with them. This can appear as subtle signs:
- Do they start conversations with you?
- Do they make a point to include you in group conversations?
You might be asking yourself, what if they are doing those things because they are a nice person and see you as a friend? It is important to be able to distinguish the small differences that are clear indicators of a potential mutual connection.
The speed at which someone replies to a text might not tell you a lot about how they feel (people get busy and some are just better at answering their phones), but the quality of their answers will give you important insight into how they feel.
If they take the time to answer questions carefully, make sure to ask questions that carry on the conversation and use complimentary language, these are signs that they might like you as more than a friend.
Another huge indicator of someone feeling a romantic connection is how they interact with you in groups.
Do they make a point to include you or ask you questions when you’re having a group discussion? Do they stand near you and make eye contact when you’re talking? The answers to these questions might help you determine if there is a connection, especially if you met each other as friends but are thinking there might be something more.
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DO THEY MAKE PHYSICAL CONTACT?
One of the first ways someone will test out the water if they are interested in you is by making small physical contact when you’re around or altering their behavior in a way that makes them more physically open to you.
Examples of this are:
- Touching your arm during conversation
- Tapping your hand
- Standing directly in front of you, and matching your movements.
These are all subtle and even subconscious ways someone will indicate that they like another person. It is important to notice what their behavior is like around you; is there more eye contact, more laughs, more physical touch? Those are some of the best ways to tell if someone is romantically interested in you.
DO THEY SMILE WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE ROOM?
It’s incredibly cheesy, I know, but there’s definitely a reason for that. If they smile when they notice you, it’s definitely for a reason. Take the time to notice how they react when they see you; does their body language change at all? Even if it’s a small change, that could be a sign that they are subconsciously reacting to your presence in a positive manner.
Along with this point, there is also the question of how they react when you smile at them. A friend will give a polite smile in return; someone who is romantically interested in you might hold your gaze for a second longer, or make more meaningful eye contact when you exchange a smile.
If they are laughing at something, do they look at you while they do? The best way to notice this is when you’re in a group with more than you two; people tend to make eye contact with those in the group they feel the most comfortable with!
WE’VE GONE ON A COUPLE OF DATES; HOW DO I KNOW IF THEY FEEL A CONNECTION TOO?
It can be difficult determining where you stand with someone; especially at the beginning of a new relationship where you’re unsure of how the other one shows how they feel.
One important thing to remember is that everyone is different and people build connections at different paces, so you really have to be listening to your partner in order to be able to understand how they feel.
If someone feels a connection with you, they are going to be swept up in the same emotions you’re having about them and they are going to want to see if you feel the same way.
When they are easy to talk to, when they make plans with you and stick to them or when they make time for you in their schedule, these are easy indicators that they feel the same way.
It is important to remember that the quantity of plans or communication is not the main indicator, but the quality of those interactions.
If you notice that hours have gone by and you’re still on the phone, or you’ve sent each other several dozen texts back and forth for a few days; there’s a good chance they are feeling the same connection that you are.
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TONE MEANS EVERYTHING!
If you want to know if someone feels the same way about you; pay attention to where your conversations naturally go! If they make a joke at your expense or tease you in an obviously joking manner, this is a sign that they feel comfortable with you.
Notice how they react when you make a joke or say something potentially flirty; do they pull away or laugh and lean in?
If the conversation becomes easily playful and humorous, then chances are they feel at ease when talking to you and you make them feel more comfortable.
The tone of your conversations is so important if you’re trying to gauge how someone feels. If you are constantly making flirtatious jokes, or you’re able to go from funny to serious very quickly without the conversation feeling awkward, this is a good indication that they feel like they can talk candidly with you, which is a great sign of a potential connection.
You can also try and see how they feel by changing your tone and seeing their reaction. Try changing the topic to something serious and personal and watch to see if they pull back, or if they are interested in hearing more from you.
You can also try throwing in a flirtatious joke here and there to see how they feel about that; however, some people are naturally more flirty than others, so make sure you’re mindful of that!
WHAT DOES A GOOD CONNECTION LOOK LIKE?
Not only are you probably trying to understand how they feel about you; but you’re probably also trying to process your own feelings at the same time. It can get confusing, trying to determine if you have a good connection with someone and you might be wondering what that even looks like.
Do they make you feel excited?
Are you excited when you get to see them? The answer to this question will often tell you a lot about your personal feelings. Looking forward to seeing someone, or thinking about the next time you get to see them, are good signs that you feel strongly about the relationship.
Are they easy to talk to?
When you feel like you can talk to someone about anything and they would listen and make sure they understand what you’re saying; that’s when you know that you have a good connection. Nothing feels better than knowing someone understands you for who you are without having to translate your thoughts or feelings all the time.
Do you want the best for each other?
The foundation of a strong relationship is mutual respect. Healthy relationships are built off of good connections and the desire for the other person to be happy. If you would do anything to make them feel supported and happy, chances are you have a good foundation and a mutual connection that will leave you both better people.
Love is one of the most complex and beautiful things we get to experience; that’s why you may feel a lot of pressure to determine if you have a connection with someone. It is important to remember your worth and value going into a relationship and to treat your connection with someone as something to be tended to and worked at. Communication is key when it comes to relationships and dating – I know that sounds obvious, but it’s completely true.
A good connection will never turn into a solid relationship unless you are willing to communicate honestly and build a foundation of mutual trust. In the end, there are many signs as to how someone feels, and hopefully, this will help you in your dating endeavors!