Communication is one of the most difficult things to maintain in a relationship, especially when one person makes it more difficult on the other. If you and your spouse have an argument; does he listen to you?
Is he taking your issues into consideration or just telling you that you’re wrong?
Maybe it’s more subtle than that, maybe he listens, but it seems like he never takes responsibility for his actions which just bring you back to where you started.
If any of these situations apply to you, I promise you are not alone. It can be difficult for some people to understand their role in relationships, especially when it comes to taking responsibility and understanding cooperation. So, what is the solution?
Here are some answers and important questions if you are asking yourself “Why does my husband thinks he does nothing wrong?”
Who is bringing the issues forward?
When an issue arises in your relationship, who is bringing it up, and how does your partner respond? What is their reaction when you are bringing an issue forward? What is their tone when they are bringing an issue to you?
If it is you bringing the issue forward and they are completely dismissive or make excuses as to why they are not to blame, it is possible that they are incapable of taking criticism or of self-reflection. This is not as devastating as it may sound and is actually something that can be worked on in a relationship, but the problem must be identified first.
It is possible that they are not confident in themselves and their place in your relationship, and that is why it seems like they can never take any criticism or blame for anything that happens.
Another instance where you might notice an issue is if your partner is the one bringing up issues, but he is not taking any responsibility and placing all of the blame on you. This is a difficult situation to deal with, and it’s important to remember that you are both equal partners in the relationship and should be working together so that both of you are happy.
If your husband thinks that he is never wrong and that you are the one who is wrong constantly, this is more than a simple communication issue and is something you should address with him if you feel comfortable. If he continues to skirt the blame onto you; it is possible that you might need a third party involved, such as a counselor or therapist, to address the root of the issue.
How can I make him see that he’s wrong
It’s important to go about fixing communication issues in the right way, otherwise, it is only going to make them worse. One of the ways to do this is by trying different techniques while bringing up an issue to try and get your partner to take responsibility when he’s wrong.
A great way to help tell someone they’re wrong is by removing the personal element and ensure that they don’t think you are attacking them, but rather the issue at hand. Instead of telling him “You aren’t loading the dishwasher the right way”, you can remove the personal attack and say something like “The dishes get cleaned better when we stack them this way.” This is a simple fix to very minor issues, not everything is going to be helped by this, but it is something to try if you want him to take responsibility for certain things.
One thing to remember is that you’re never going to get anywhere by telling them that they are wrong and that they aren’t listening. I know it can be tempting at the moment, but if you’re going for long-term change rather than a short-term argument, especially if this is a pattern of behavior, it won’t help.
My husband thinks he knows everything, but he doesn’t
It’s understandable to feel annoyed when someone acts like they know everything and even tries to explain things to you when you didn’t ask them to. One thing to keep in mind is that men tend to be solution-oriented in conversations, while women tend to be story-driven. This means that you could be complaining about something that happened and wanted to vent, but your husband thinks you need solutions to the problem.
The best thing to remember is that your communication style is not inherently your fault, but it is your job to try and make the other person as comfortable as possible. If you notice that this is a trend, let your husband know that you are venting and don’t want solutions to this problem beforehand. If he is open to communication, he will eventually start asking you before you tell a story, and your relationship will be much better off for it.
Perhaps your husband thinks he knows everything and never takes your advice or opinions when it comes to everyday issues and problems, which you have begun to notice and it is becoming a problem. This can be a very tough situation, but there are some things that could help.
One potential source of the issue is that he doesn’t notice he’s doing it, and simply wants to shield you from anything negative that comes up in your lives. While this is still problematic, it is something that can easily be fixed as long as he is open to hearing your concerns and willing to fix them.
What becomes a little more difficult is if there is some intent behind him not listening to you. Maybe you notice that he is dismissive when you give your opinion, or he is quick to blame you for an issue but not take any blame himself. These are more serious concerns that are best addressed with a counselor or a therapist, to try and resolve some of the deeper issues that are the cause of this break in communication.
What if he reacts negatively when I bring issues forward?
This is an understandable concern, especially if these communication issues have only come up recently in your relationship. Marriages are certainly hard work, and people change constantly, meaning a relationship must change constantly to fit you and your partner.
If you’re concerned about how your husband will react when you try to explain that it upsets you that he either thinks he does nothing wrong or won’t take any responsibility for issues in the relationship, there are some things you can do to help.
First, you can try bringing up small issues that he hasn’t taken responsibility for and try and get him to see that he might be wrong.
You can tell a lot about how he will react when you try bringing up the larger issue by how he reacts when you bring up something small. It may take a while, but if he is willing to accept some blame and apologizes for making you feel like he wasn’t being an equal partner in the relationship, this is a good indicator that he will take a bigger conversation to heart.
If he reacts poorly to you bringing up something small; such as continuing to shift the blame onto you or someone else, arguing about him being right or even flat out ignoring you, this might indicate an unwillingness to change in this area.
The best thing to do at that point is either have an honest conversation about how his behavior is making you feel; or, if you think he would be willing, bring in a counselor or a therapist to carefully understand the issues at play that are contributing to the problem.
What do I do if he still won’t listen?
The best way to understand complex issues that might be underlying in your relationship is to seek counseling or therapy from a marriage counselor. This is not just for “big issues”, because any issue in a partnership can turn into a large issue very quickly, and if something is making you unhappy, it is best to address it sooner rather than later.
A marriage counselor can be easier to find than you think; in fact, there are many online counseling services that make it quick and easy to access someone who will be able to help you address issues in a safe space, without even leaving your home.
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It is important to remember that your relationship can be made stronger by seeing a marriage counselor. Even if it’s only for a few sessions because a professional will help you find and address any issue that may be harming your relationship. A perfect example of this is if your husband does not take any responsibility or blame when he’s wrong or thinks that he is right about everything and it is causing you stress.
Overall, there are many ways to address issues that may arise if your partner thinks that they are never wrong; some are small things that can be fixed by changing your communication strategy, while others may require the help of a professional to address the issues without harming your relationship.