Why Can't I Find Someone To Love Me

Why Can’t I Find Someone To Love Me?

It appears to have become a lot harder to form a meaningful relationship. In these days of Social Media and dating sites, people often misrepresent themselves, and you may find that if you have been talking to the other person on an introduction site that when you actually meet them they are very different from their online profile description. So you end up trying again to meet someone, but there are better ways.

Reasons Why You Can’t Find Someone To Love You

It might just be that you are looking for love in all the wrong places, and to meet the right person it is often important that you share quite a few things in common. So although dating sites are tempting they are both superficial and artificial environments and you will require a bit more reality to progress. So here are a few ways to meet someone who has a bit more in common with you.

  • If you play a sport, join a sporting club and you will meet someone who shares a common interest. Golf and Tennis, Sailing are all great social venues to meet others.
  • Do some charity work, packing the Christmas Hampers is a good one, you will meet lots of cheery people.
  • Try speed dating, it is great fun that will speed up the process. Don’t take it too seriously, but at least you meet 6-8 prospective partners at one venue.
  • If you are a professional, join a professional group where you meet others and discuss ideas.
  • If you like children, borrow a niece or a nephew and take them out for the day. Somewhere like a fun park, or amusement /theme park, you will certainly meet other single people with kids.
  • Join a political party ( if you can stand it), a great way to meet lots of single people, if you love politics you will certainly meet someone.
  • Join a wine tasting club and start collecting wine, you will soon meet someone.
  • Join the pub trivia team, if you are good at trivia you will be in demand.

We all know people who have a lot of trouble finding the right partner, and often they are just not looking in the right places. When we are under 30 we usually lead quite a punishing social life, but as we get older many of our former groups have paired off and are no longer ‘out there’. The older you get the fewer people are available in your age group, and many are on their second or third time around.


It shouldn’t be too difficult, and once again you are looking in the wrong places. So if you are divorced with children this is where you look.

  • The school is a good start, join the PTA (Parent Teachers Association).
  • If you attend a church with the kids, there will be single people there.
  • Take the kids for Pizza, other single families will be doing the same thing.
  • Join a lifesaving club at your local beach, that will keep you fit and allow you some opportunities to meet others.
  • Take the children to an indoor rock climbing venue, you may need to be rescued halfway up the wall.
  • Have a garage sale, that will attract lots of people you have never met. ( Sell your ex’s old junk).
  • Retrain, if you work from home, get a job and get out there ( increase your social exposure).
  • Join a gym, there are always a lot of single people at the gym.
  • If you can afford to, take a holiday, hire a beach shack or go to the country, you just may meet someone in a different place.
  • Do a course in your chosen area, even one semester is long enough to meet someone.

If you are in mid-life, you may need a bit of a makeover, nothing too drastic just lose a bit of weight and change your hair-style, is often enough to give you a lift.

2020 has been a very difficult year for most of us involving staying home, working from home, cooking, and eating, I don’t think it has been good for us socially or physically so a bit of ‘self-love’ is in order.

You don’t need to spend too much money or be too drastic, but sometimes weight loss and a new outfit can do wonders. It is definitely a time to cheer ourselves up and get out socially and meet people.

People are now so busy, as there has never been more to do and I feel that many have become so over-committed that there is no time for a meaningful relationship.

Here are a few more ideas for any age group to become more open to a relationship:

  • Don’t work all the time, it makes you a bit dull, vary your activities.
  • Read widely and you will always have something to say, it makes you more interesting.
  • Cultivate good manners, they are always fashionable, table manners are important.
  • Make time for your friends, you never know who they may introduce you to.
  • Take a break every year, holidays are important to recharge.
  • If you live alone go out for dinner with friends/family twice a week, to expose yourself to other people.

All the above things are important, to be open to others we have to be self-aware and able to care for our health and our mental health. Living alone can be very isolating, so it is a good idea to seek the company of others and if you are an older person, your local club has a lot to offer for seniors.

If you are retired you can often meet other people by volunteering.


It doesn’t matter how old you are, you are never too old to meet another person and form a meaningful relationship. So the message is you are never too old to find love and often you will find love in the most unlikely places.

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