You have been on your long-anticipated first date and it didn’t go according to plan, your first impression was less than glowing. Probably all started when the waiter accidentally spilled a glass of red wine on your new pink dress and your polite mask slipped as you gave the waiter a piece of your mind in a few unfortunately chosen words. You have made a bad first impression on your long-awaited date, and this is how you can go a long way towards fixing it.
First dates can be tense and at best awkward, so it is better to keep them as casual as possible. Probably sharing a Pizza is enough for a first outing together in casual surroundings, chatting, and getting to know one another. Often it can be quite a quick outing and if it goes well and you feel like extending it you can always move to the corner pub. That way you have options and are not contained in a formal sometimes unnatural environment. Even after the bad first date, you can move on, and here are a few suggestions on how to move forward and reset the mood.
WHAT TO DO NEXT TO REDEEM YOUR BAD FIRST IMPRESSION
- Ask him to your house for dinner, if you can’t cook don’t try, order it in, and just heat it up. Set the table properly and buy good wine, you can sit there and talk.
- Chose something you are good at, maybe tennis, invite him to play a match with you, book a court, this is your chance to shine and show your skill.
- Invite him to a trivia night, form your own little team, being part of a group will be more relaxed.
- Go to the movies together, there won’t be time for too much chat.
- Go for coffee and cake at lunch break (if he works nearby).
Keep the connection simple and as uncomplicated as possible until you get to know one another a bit better and by then it will be ‘make or break’
time and you will both know whether you want to go forward or not, and if you are good friends by then it will be a much better start.
HOW TO FIX A BAD FIRST IMPRESSION WITH A GUY.
Bad first impressions mainly occur because of ‘high stress’ situations and misunderstandings, so it makes sense to take the stress out of the date and to keep it really simple until you know one another much better. It is easier if the couple has been friends for a while before they decide to link romanticly. It is also important to place value on yourself, and no one needs or wants a bad experience with a relationship, so take time to make sure it is right.
Where possible avoid workplace relationships as they lead to too many complications. If you are in one, try to keep romance ‘out of the workplace’. If you end up breaking up one of you often has to move to another job. It is not professional to be romanticly linked with a colleague.
TRY NOT TO BLAME YOURSELF
By the time you have had 3 or 4 non-threatening dates, the relationship should be in a more casual, less threatening place and you will now know whether you want to progress with it or not. If he decides not to see you anymore, don’t blame yourself just move on. This is a learning experience and you have learned a lot.
SIGNS THAT YOU HAVE REDEEMED THE BAD IMPRESSION
- He seeks you out.
- Phones you every day,
- He wants to make long term plans.
- Invites you to meet his family.
- Buys you some flowers.
- Invites you to a special occasion ( often a family wedding or christening).
- Takes you away for a weekend.
All of the above are good signs, and it might be time for him to come and meet your family
This is a turning point in proving that you can change things and you have done it, just by being yourself a good, kind supportive friend.
We can all form strong relationships by looking for someone who wants the best for us, as well as for themselves.