People can usually tell whether you like them or not, and it is easy enough to make it clear with body language and other gestures. How to tell someone you like them without saying it is really not very difficult, and if you are hoping to embark on a relationship or you wish to take the friendship to the next level there are a few non-verbal ways of saying it which may work for you.
HOW TO HINT TO YOUR CRUSH THAT YOU LIKE HIM
You are in your first real job in a large city office, and there is a boy that you really like sitting at a work station quite near you. You notice that he spends a lot of time on the phone organizing his social life which seems to revolve around the local pub. You hear him talking to a mate about meeting up on Friday night at the pub, and this is your cue to swing into action. At lunchtime, you ring your best friend and ask her to meet you in the same pub for a drink on Friday night. On Friday afternoon you take some time off and go to the hairdresser, you want to be noticed, and you will be!
At 0630 you meet up with your friend at the pub and get a table in a prominent position, you explain that you like the man to your friend, but don’t go into too much detail. You are there half an hour before you know he will arrive, so you have time to chat. He comes in at 70’clock and sits at a table not too far away, his friends have not yet arrived. He goes to the bar to buy a drink, and as he is returning you wave to him, he notices you and comes over to your table looking pleased to see you, and he sits down for a chat, the process is underway and he likes you.
HOW TO COMMUNICATE TO SOMEONE YOU LIKE THEM WITHOUT SAYING IT
There are many ways of telling someone you like them without saying it. These are some of the things you can do to be noticed.
- Take up activities that you know they are interested in, for example, go to the same gym classes.
- Have a party and ask a group of around 30 people, including him.
- If you are in the same office, you don’t have to talk but make yourself indispensable, do things that will help him.
- Increase your social exposure by being in places that you know he frequents.
TELLING SOMEONE YOU LIKE THEM WHEN THEY ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP
The man you really like has a girlfriend, this is not surprising, but if he is not engaged or married he may be keeping his options open, so it is okay to put yourself in the picture and only time will tell whether he likes you enough to break up with her.
This maneuver is definitely going to take some talking through, but not immediately.
Try to mix with the same group of people socially, that the couple moves in. If they go to the races or belong to a sporting club you join as well, you will be lost in the crowd, but at least you get to observe whether the relationship is a strong or maybe a casual one. This way you will find out whether it is a ‘live-in’ relationship or not.
Start a trivia social group at the pub/club and ask the couple to join, this way you will soon know what you are dealing with and if there is any future in it. Once you have observed for six months or less you will know what is happening, and if they break up in this time, this is when you step in to console him. If /when they do break up make a move quite quickly and make your feelings relatively clear, maybe you will be able to get together.
The longer they stay together the less likely it is that you will get together with him. So if they are still together after six months, don’t waste your time, move on, and find someone unattached.
HOW TO TELL SOMEONE YOU LIKE THEM WITHOUT GETTING REJECTED
We all suffer rejection at some time in our lives, so in order to avoid rejection, we need to make sure that it is worth approaching the other person.
Once again this will take some observation, so it is important to move in the same group, attend the same parties, and to have some friends in common. Once you have known one another for a while, organize a social event with a group, dinner, movie or theatre night, games night.
Make sure that there are 6 or 8 of you in a mixed group and that he is present. The main thing is to have a good time and if everyone enjoys themselves, they are all going to want to do it again. After a while suggest that you go out for coffee or pizza with him by yourself, and while you are out say how much you enjoy his/her company, that is enough to say and it will make him either want to see you again or withdraw a bit.
That is enough for that first outing and he will either get the message or if you come on too strong he might bolt. You are treading a fine line and there are a lot of people suffering from commitment phobia out there, so tread warily. The relationship will either progress or not.
HOW TO TELL SOMEONE YOU LIKE THEM WITHOUT RUINING YOUR FRIENDSHIP?
This is difficult as if you have become friends, he will probably realize that you like him, but what he won’t know is how much you like him.
A friend of mine who went out with her same group from University for six years really liked a man and he liked her, gradually the rest of the group paired up and married. Suddenly Tony and Jane were the only two left single, they went out for dinner to commiserate and Tony said that if they were still single in one year’s time and hadn’t met anyone they should get married.
They didn’t meet anyone else and they got married and are still together twenty years later. Tony and Jane had a lot in common, they obviously really liked one another, but it took a while to fall in love and some of us need more time than others.
There is something very comfortable about being with someone that you share common interests with and have known for years and in their case, it did not ruin the friendship. I think that the direct approach can work with more mature people, but younger people may find it hard to be direct and yes, it would frighten some people away. It is just a matter of judging it correctly, and if you think it will frighten the other away don’t risk it.
HOW TO TELL SOMEONE THAT YOU LOVE THEM BUT YOU AREN’T IN LOVE WITH THEM
You have been going out together for three years, since you left University, once you thought that you might get married, but now you realize that you have both changed and it probably won’t happen. The next thing to do is to make some changes in your life:
- Arrange to go on a trip with your girlfriends for two or three weeks at most, this will give you time to think.
- Change jobs and move away, this will be ‘make or break’ time. He may realize he misses you and pursue you or you may drift apart.
- Talk about your future and decide mutually whether you have a future together or not.
- If there are serious doubts at this early stage it is better to break up.
Sometimes a break at this stage will help to make the relationship stronger, but in other cases, it may just fizzle out. Whatever you decide, communicate, sit down and talk about your future and where you want to be in three years’ time, do you want children or not. If you stay together a lot of mutual decisions need to be made.
Many relationships founder because both people have a different ‘financial construct’, so talk about money and plan what your financial future would look like if you stay together.
Relationships can be such a minefield, but they needn’t be that way if you communicate. We often make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling when what we should be doing is talking to them about it. Once you like one another and have established a friendship, it is often much easier to take the next step, when you don’t know the other person at all it can be a risk. So it is much safer to go out with a person that you already know, and didn’t just meet online yesterday.