You have had your first date and it hasn’t gone well, this is really disappointing as you had high expectations of a good outcome this time.
However, all is not lost, the first date is often a bit tense and awkward. Today we will look at a few things that we can do to redeem the situation and move forward.
WHAT POTENTIALLY WENT WRONG ON YOUR FIRST DATE?
On the first date, there is always tension as you usually don’t really know one another very well, so for the first date, it is better to go out with a group of friends. If you can’t go out in a group arrange an outing to somewhere undemanding like a movie where you don’t have to talk all the time.
The problem usually arises if you go out as a couple, maybe a restaurant and the conversation dries up along with the entre, this type of outing is best avoided until you know one another a bit better.
A problem encountered by a female friend occurred when she went out with a man who was totally fixated on engines, he was a motor mechanic, and as she discovered talked of nothing else. They went out for dinner and for two hours he talked nonstop about engines and his expertise in fixing them. She maintained that she didn’t get to say anything all evening until they were leaving and then when they left the restaurant he had forgotten his wallet, so she paid for the meal and left quickly, deciding not to see him again.
This was not a successful first date, and we can’t blame her for not wanting to see him again, except that he was probably nervous and a bit socially unskilled leading to a total disaster. There are dozens of stories like this and not all of them are total disasters as if you like the person enough you can try again.
HOW TO TRY DATING AGAIN
If you go out with someone and it feels a bit awkward and you like them enough, try again. Ask them around to your house for coffee and just have a chat, it is often easier in comfortable familiar surroundings where you possibly have a few interruptions and diversions.
Never put up with bad treatment, because if it is bad after the first date it is never going to improve, and in fact will usually get a lot worse. Remember you are looking for trust, support, affection, and possibly more, eventually, and to get that the feeling will need to be mutual and reciprocal.
Another relative had his first date at home when his parents were away for the weekend, he invited the girl over to watch TV and eat Pizza, so far so good.
His father, a policeman had left a pair of handcuffs on the hall table with a key next to them, and after dinner, the young man decided to demonstrate them to his new friend. He put one handcuff on her and the other one on him and accidentally locked them together, and then he couldn’t unlock as the key didn’t work.
They ended up walking down to the Police Station where the duty officer unlocked them amid much laughter, it appeared they had the wrong key. It was a funny and awkward start to a relationship, but a good ice- breaker and made a great story at their wedding two years later.
FIRST DATE TIPS
- Keep the outing relatively short ( two hours maximum).
- Meet at the venue.
- Keep it simple and non-stressful, like coffee and cake, a Yoga session, a quick after-work drink.
- Follow it up with a more formal arrangement.
- If things go wrong on the first date think about whether you want a follow-up or not.
- Don’t invest time and money into a situation that does not look as though it will work.
You have given dating the person a second chance and it is still not working, cut your losses and move on as you are looking for a ‘win-win’ situation and you don’t want to waste time on a date that isn’t going to make either of you happy.
Some people go out on heaps of dates without looking for commitment so maybe, for now, just enjoy being in the moment and meeting different people.